Smokey Mountain Breakdown

Everyone here in Cocke County, TN has their knickers in a twist about Outsiders Inn, CMT's new reality(which they define loosely as staged and scripted scenes with ad libs and non-actors) spin-off of Gone Country. There has been outrage over how the series portrayed our local people, or rather how it didn't. All of the locals appearing in the series were actors drawn from the pool of talent that populates Pigeon Forge's stage shows--Central Casting for Southern-Stereotypes-R-Us. Which is fine for Pigeon Forge and Dollywood, but misleading when presenting the program as a "reality" show. It's not. It's just bad, bad retroscripting. The trick with retroscripting is that you actually need actors--good ones--to pull it off. Outsider's Inn is sadly lacking in that department and many others.

Everyone in town was excited this June while it was in principal photography out at Christopher Place. But if you've watched the programming on CMT, it shouldn't have been a surprise that the channel that brings us My Big Redneck Wedding, makes its bread and butter from exploiting Southern stereotypes and mocking its fan base should do anything different with Cocke County.

My sister tells this story about how embarrassed she would be when her dates came to pick her up at our grandparent's house. Mutt and Papa loved Hee-Haw. They were also quite deaf so they kept the volume turned up on the TV really loud. Outsiders Inn is going for that Hee Haw vibe. The problem is that it doesn't have the astounding brilliance of the Grand Ole Opry talent behind it. There really isn't any talent to speak of. Hemorrhoids just aren't that funny--particularly on Carnie Wilson.

In short, the show is insulting not just to Cocke Countians, but to Appalachian people, Tennesseans and to Southerners in general. It's also insulting because of the amateurish production values. It's the sort of show that is useless for anyone's resume--the sort of show you grab the money then deny like hell you worked on it. It's a truckstop prostitute of a TV program and no one is going to want to admit they had anything to do with it. But if you insist on viewing the Credit Roll of Shame--it can be found on IMDb.

To make matters worse, Cocke County Mayor, Iliff McMahan Jr., willingly cast in the role of hick mayor, was reported by the National Enquirer to have brought quarts of moonshine as gifts to the cast members. I would have to consume way too much untaxed liquor to blab to the Enquirer. No one, thus far, has admitted to being the Enquirer's source.

Cocke County needs to dust themselves off from this bad experience. It's okay to be outraged but realize the insult was far broader than just Cocke County. CMT needs to stick with the music--or at least revamp its sixty years out-of-date image of what country music entertainment and its fans look like. Last I checked, overalls and checked shirts were not involved.

Back when I was working in the film industry, we had this thing we'd say when a set-up was going overlong or we were losing light.

Let's shoot this puppy before it turns into a dog.

Outsiders Inn was barking in pre-production--why didn't anyone hear it?

More Reviews and Articles:

KnoxNews Review

Johnson: 'Outsiders Inn' out of bounds in Appalachia

Enquirer's mayor and moonshine article attracts attention

Okay, I've fallen a bit behind.

I had a wonderful day with Friend Scott, yesterday. People were civil and no fights erupted at the Hall Family Reunion--though he claims he got cussed out three times and wandered into the aftermath of a dreadful domestic dispute before he got to my house.

"Why didn't you just come here when you saw the cop cars?" I ask, because that's what I'd do. I'd get away from a dreadful situation like that once the cops were there. Because I hate a scene. People love scenes here.

"But I just had to find out what was going on!"

Typical Scott. He had to drive back to Texas this morning with a trailer of Standardbreds for a horse something in Fort Worth. He sleeps with the horses while he's there and they keep him up. It's like a horse house party.

There wasn't as big a crowd this year as there usually is. We got there in time for the morning and afternoon singing. It was hot and a bit sluggish for the afternoon. The singing at the Hall Reunion is some of the best in this area. They've really held on to that tradition, though I'm told in years gone by--it was even more impressive. Only five people came up to the front who could still read the shape notes. Still it was something to behold.

The food, as usual, was amazing, delicious and plentiful. Those Hall ladies sure can cook--I've seen a copy of their cookbook from the past and they really need to do another one of those. I would so buy it.

The absolute stand-out for both Scott and me, was this sublime sweet potato dish. I didn't think it was possible to surprise me with a sweet potato. I really didn't. I'm the Bubba Gump of sweet potatoes.

Scott and I were sitting side-by-side on a bench with our plates when I took the first bite.

"Oh. My. God. Have you tried this yet?" I pointed out his mound of the stuff on his plate.

Scott tries it and said, "I could eat that three times a day!"

I went back for seconds and Scot had three helpings. It's really a dessert and I have a feeling it would be much better as a pie than a casserole. She had taken the basic sweet potato pie filling recipe then topped it with German Chocolate cake filling(the coconut part), then sprinkled a butter-nut crunch topping and baked it. It had this stunning buttery crispy top caramelized on top of the sweet potato and coconut filling. Yes--it was really sweet and rich but what a show stopper! I wanted to leave a note in the empty casserole dish that said, "I love you!"

Happy Birthday to my buddy, Mallow over at Fun in Flatland. Go over there and wish her a good one. She's got amazing yummy cake photos on her blog!

Now. I have a matter of great import I need you native Appalachian folks to weigh in on. I may put it up as a poll. It is a matter of spelling.

How do you spell the word that means a small valley tucked into the mountains--holler or hollow?

The reason I'm asking is because the first line of Narrative Magazine's story of the week this week spells it "hollows" in the very first sentence. Spelling it that way destroyed the credibility of the author's narrator from the get-go, as far as I'm concerned. They don't say it or spell it that way here. At all. Do you remember being taught one way or the other? Am I being too harsh?

The 90 acre fire is now 1500 acres and burning Rocky Top. Still visible if not sniffible from my back porch. The night sky glows over beyond Sol Messer and you can see flames. They say it's 20 percent under control.

Scott's mailing address is:

Scott Smith
442 Tigerville Road
Travelers Rest, SC 29690

Send him some underwear or a postcard.

There is Popcorn Sutton news. His court date rescheduled to the 22nd of September. It doesn't look good for him.

CMT has a reality show called Outsiders Inn set in Cocke County. Scott has been following it religiously. I haven't been watching it though I remembered hearing about it while they were filming. Everyone was really excited to have the "TV people" in town. Having come out of that industry, I pretty much knew exactly what to expect. So now, predictably, some folks are upset. After the Esquire article back in 92 or whatever--you'd think they'd understand.

I will blog about all of this and more upcoming. But wanted to let you know things were moving right along here. Oh. And my kidneys are tanking again so they've upped my imuran.