Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Savings Places

I'm driving home from Newport today after buying groceries when I saw it. Got more stuff to do the amazing sweet potato dish and a 20 pound turkey. It's been a while since I cooked a turkey and I always enjoy watching the cockers while the thing is in the oven. They guard the stove like somebody is going to come and steal the turkey. Or maybe break in and make off with the entire stove--like it's a turkey safe or something. You need opposable thumbs to get into it.

Anyway, I took the long way home rather than cross Green Mountain--where we all have to detour until the bridges are finished. Off 25 is a whorehouse they painted and converted into a church. 25 is famous as the old red light district of Cocke County. We think they have it cleaned up now, but every once in a while the prostitution thing will resurface. Anyway, I remember when they busted this little whorehouse, so it hasn't been that long ago--2005? Anyway, it's a church now. I'm not sure what sort of special sanctification rites must be performed to switch a whorehouse to a church, but I'm sure we Episcopalians or Catholics have something already written up for such occasions.

Outside, the sign reads, "Walmart isn't the only Savings-Place, Come on in!"

Thought that might give you a giggle.

I'm so sorry I seem to have turned my blog into my personal PR firm. All I ever do anymore is announce where my stories are being accepted, blah, blah, blah. Just one more though! And this is huge--it's like one of those benchmark acceptances. I'm both thrilled and a bit shocked. One of my beloved stories--stories I like too much for their own good--"48 Years", has been picked up by MsLexia! It's a big deal for me. I mean, important people read MsLexia. More important than me, anyway.

So, I've been wandering around trying to adjust my surroundings to accommodate my enormous head which keeps knocking over the furniture. They had me fill out a questionnaire thingy even. I'm getting stuff in the mail from England. Whoo-weee! They'll be talking about me almost as much as they did with my Japanese admirer.


  1. Anonymous said...
    Well, I only have the BCP and the Book of Occasional Services.

    There is an occasional service for "Founding of a Church", but it is more geared towards a groundbreaking.

    There is also an occasional service for "Restoration of Things Profaned", but that is for something that was already consecrated that then got... sullied. Like this one time one of our middle TN pastors came in one morning and (the church was always unlocked until) he found some youngsters procreating on the altar.

    I don't know what the Catholics do. But I bet a clever Episcopal priest could do a symbolic "groundbreaking" and use the church founding service.

    Sorry. Babbling. I tend to have narrow tunnels of knowledge radiating in lots of disparate directions, and I don't always get the chance to travel down some of them.
    Painless Mama said...
    I've been reading your blog via Frogma's blog up here in NYC for a long time, however, your question about whether the Episcopal or RC church have a rite to convert a whorehouse to a church has finally won me over.

    I'm subscribing to your posts. Immediately. Thanks!

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