Smokey Mountain Breakdown

The other day, while I was vegging out, I think it was Sunday, I decided that I needed to make some more firestarters. I was out. You've probably heard me talk about these before. You take cardboard egg cartons and fill them with dryer lint. Then you melt down old spent candles and pour the wax over the dryer lint. After they cool, they will start any fire. Very good thrifty tip for those of you that burn wood. You can add grease...bacon grease, lard or old cooking oil to the wax to stretch it a bit. I had to stop doing that because the dogs find them irresistible with the grease in them.

Anyway, I found out that if you stuck them in the microwave for a bit, it helped the wax saturate the dryer lint even better. This time, I didn't melt enough wax and had four compartments with no wax. So, I put it in the microwave while I melted more old candles.

I don't know why the idea that something called a "firestarter" prolly didn't need to go in a microwave hadn't occurred to me. And I hadn't had any problems before when I put the entirely filled cartons in there.

Anyway, I look up and there are flames coming out of the microwave. And lots of smoke. It was a big mess. I had to move the thing to the sink and it took forever to get it to go out. The house smelled like burning egg crates and my firestarters were soaking wet.

Anyway, I know I said I wasn't going to do this on the blog anymore, but I'm thinking about doing a February story cycle. I think what I might do is put them up here, then move them over to editred after a few days. I'm thinking about doing love stories, since it is February. Whatcha think? Those are really challenging for me and I need a challenge right now.

Well, I'm working on a few stories for November. But I'm prolly not going to post them on the blog. I'd like to...but it seems that submissions people don't like you to do that. I'm shopping "The Dark Hole" around now...and it's very limiting where I can send it since they don't like you to have put stuff up on your blog. But...I may break down and share some of them.

The first story I'm working on is called "The Ghosts are Dancing". I’ve been working on it for a while, but haven’t gotten my ending yet. The title comes from the Cherokee myth of the great flood. It goes something like this:

This is what the old women told me when I was a girl. The dog came to the man and said, “You must build a boat for a great deluge is coming.” The man expressed some disbelief at this and the dog said, “If you do not believe me, look at the bones on my neck. And the man looked at the dog’s neck and saw that the bones were showing. So, he built a great boat and he and his family rode out the storm in it. The waters rose until they covered the mountain tops and then receded. When the man and his family finally left the boat after the waters had receded, they built a great fire and had a celebration. While they were dancing, they heard drums in the distance over the next mountain. The next day, they tried to find where the drums were coming from, but all they found was a huge mound of human bones. And it was then that they realized that the ghosts were dancing.

I’ll go in and do some research tomorrow at the library while Fat Buddy is getting his teeth done and try to get it tied together. I know the main events in the story, which is about a devastating flood that happened here, but I don’t know where it’s going. I like to have my beginning, middle and end in my head before I get a story together.

The second story that I’m working on is called, “Jo-Jo and the Chicken Boy”. Think The Yearling meets Old Yeller in a cock fighting ring.

The third story and the one I’m having most fun with is called “Porn and Donuts”. I got the idea last Monday when I was going to Newport and as I made the turn to I-40 there was an inflatable sex doll laying there on the verge of the exit ramp all by its lonesome. And I started thinking about all the weird news stories I’ve heard in Tennessee. The porn/adult novelty store hold-up... the robbers who made their getaway in the Krispy-Kreme delivery truck. Stuff like that. So…I’ve got a couple of hapless pill pushers on an increasingly absurd crime spree across east Tennessee. It should be funny.

So...that's what I have planned for right now. Didn't do much today. I keep putting off making the appointment for the biopsy. But I sort of need to do that.

Too cute to not submit to The Ark!

Guys...if you have critter photos...cute or otherwise....do consider putting them up on The Ark.

As it happened, the morning was glossy with dew and the sun had not quite risen. John Rabbit marched Childe Rabbit into the gourd patch and said,

“Look here, Childe Rabbit, I wants you to stay right here and don’t move. There’s plenty to eat and I’ll come back for you round sunset, hear? I gots me some bidness to attend to.”

Childe Rabbit nodded gravely and watched his father scramble up the bank into the wood.

Then he set about the busy business of eating. Childe Rabbit ate clover and gourd leaves and nibbled on the gourds until his little tummy was quite full. Then he settled down for a long sleep.

When he awoke, the sun was high but where he rested in the gourd leaves was cool and damp. But there was a terrible noise.

Stomp, Stomp, Riiiiip! Stomp, Stomp, Riiiip!

And Childe Rabbit was sorely afeared. But he didn’t move…he was still, like his daddy taught him. But soon there were more noises!

Bark, Bark, Woof! Bark, Bark, Woof!

And Childe Rabbit was even more sorely afeared!

So he finally could stand it no longer and took off a-running!

But before his tiny legs could carry him up the bank into the woods, a great hairless thing came down and carried him far into the air!

“Well, what do we have here! I do believe it is Childe Rabbit!” said a big booming voice that belonged to the farmer woman.

At this point, the Bark, Bark, Woof, Woof noises got even louder!

And Childe Rabbit was so afeared that he squeaked most pitifully. And he wet on the farmer woman’s hands.

The farmer woman took the Barkers and Woofers and put them in the house and Childe Rabbit was less afraid.

Then she put him back in the gourd patch where he had been before and called into the woods…

Oh! John Rabbit!
Come git your baby, dangnabit!
Oh! John Rabbit!
Leave your philandering ways!



So...that was today's big adventure. Saving a baby bunny from the rabbit's bane hounds...also known as Cocker Spaniels. While I don't really want to raise it...I'll keep an eye out and hopefully its mother will come collect it tonight. If not...looks like I'll have a baby bunny to raise.