Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Thunder Fog Tuesday

Thunder fog! We have thunder fog! Wonder what that means?

Happy New Year, peeps. I've been battling the mother of all insomnia flares. I haven't been to bed since day before yesterday. I'm getting into that sleep deprived zone where inanimate objects discuss politics with you in a purely rational way. And there's very little that is rational about that, now is there. I start feeling the confines of my filters slipping away.

Have you ever not said anything stupid or confrontational, but knew you were pretty much doomed to do so? It's a foreshadowing of shame that shows up in the gut, twisting and recoiling. Begging you to stay off the computer, not speak to anyone or write anything, because you are bound to put your foot in your mouth and offend. I've been feeling like that. My filters are wafer thin. I might say or do anything, beeeotch!

I've been having a really uncontrollable urge to mock the local paper. Though Caleb Abramson is still makes my heart go pitter-pat with his punsterliciousness. Those other dudes, though--they're fair game.

I have a new Appalachian word, I'd not heard before. As I may have mentioned, when women get together here the conversation invariably turns to women's health issues and the graphic details thereof--the more graphiccy the better. And this is definitely a women's word.

The Weed. The Weed is what the old folks called mastitis--or probably any ailment of the breast associated with lactating. I don't have much experience with this so I'm not sure what other ailments that might be. A story was related to me concerning a patent medicine everyone took--I'm guessing back in the 50's. I can't remember the name but I'd be dimes to billy goats it was chock full of alcohol, paragoric and other things of tonicy goodness. Medicinal. Anyway, there was this old guy who used to go on and on about how it sure helped his "weed" out--which all the women thought was hilarious.

I'll stop now before I say something dangerous.

3 Comments:

  1. Jbeeky said...
    What? Now is the time to write! You can say ANYTHING and later look shocked and say, "I was so sleep deprived. Of course that was not the real me." Seriously, I know girls who use their menstrual cycle for the same evil purpose.
    Cappy said...
    Have you ever not said anything stupid or confrontational, but knew you were pretty much doomed to do so?
    Being confrontational is unavoidable with my sisters. Would you like to take over as a proxy at family functions. This could be a win-win situation. I seem to like the bloggers in E. Tenn. a lot better than RL in Bluetown here.
    DaisyDeadhead said...
    Have you ever not said anything stupid or confrontational, but knew you were pretty much doomed to do so?

    You know that "redneck comedian" named Ron White? (On the Comedy network, always holding a drink in his hand) You made me think of his joke about getting arrested:

    "I had the right to remain silent, but did not have the ability."

Post a Comment