Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Enough with the....


Winter Fucking Wonderland Already! Jesus Marimba, I am weary of walking around with tampons up my nose.

Gee Rosie, is that a tampon in your nose?

Yes, actually, it is. See, my bleeding thing means that nosebleeds last for one to three hours. Much blood is lost. I have to hold my nose for 30 to 45 minutes before even checking to to see if it's stopped--and going into the ER is no longer an option since September. And ever since I looked up on the internet what the ER idiots did for nosebleeds and found out they stuck tampons up your nose...

So yeah. I stick tampons up my nose. What of it? You want to start somethin' about it? Fuck you! Yes, I'm sure it is a mental picture you'd rather be without. And yes, it is pretty much as amusing as all that.

So. This weather means my nose bleeds more often. And tampons leave my hands free. So there.

But Friend Scott called last night and we had a good long talk. Scott's just TMI all the time and I so miss that about him. Did I ever tell you guys the ball sack itch story? Anyway. Suffice it to say he gets way more sex with straight people that most straight people do. A regular Frank-N-Furter.

Anyway, there is a story for you to read. I'm a bit peeved with them because they screwed up the formatting. Pretty much everyone who asked for .txt screws up the formatting. I asked them to fix it and they still haven't. So I'll probably ask them to withdraw it and remove the journal from my sub rotation. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to remove obviously extraneous hard returns and if they don't care how their journal looks I'm not interested in having my work appear there. It's HERE if you want to read it before I demand it be removed.

You guys have been really sweet about my lack of acceptances. But I'm actually sort of SMBD about my rejections--enjoy them really. It means I'm doing my job. And they are always very nice to me and very definitely ask me to submit again. They even send me the "nice" version of their form rejections. The one they send to writers who aren't psychopaths with editor parts wrapped in butcher paper in their basement freezer. So that's good? Don't worry--I'm cool--totally down with the rejections. They come in waves, you know.

Please sir! May I have another?

6 Comments:

  1. Perverse Adult said...
    I think big ole waves have been hitting several of us lately.
    annetteinalaska said...
    Some years back my best friend came up to me, beaming, waving a piece of paper, "Look, look!"

    I said, "Yes? Another rejection letter...(?)"

    She said, "Yeah, but this one's got a HAND WRITTEN part!"
    Margy Rydzynski said...
    Brrrrr. The tampon up the nose thing must be something to see, though.
    Nancy said...
    Hey, it works, and it's a good medical practice.

    Dry air is not my friend either. It's been uncommonly UN humid here and my nose has had it's moments too.

    I'm going to remember your tip.
    Velociman said...
    I'm missing Florida badly about now. As to the tampons in the nose thing, I do believe I've found the cure to my Wet Fart Syndrome. Thanks, Rosie!

    Your buddy VMan
    Cappy said...
    Yes, ma'am. You may have another.

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