Saturday, April 30, 2005

Rocky Top Brigade

Rocky Top Brigade

I'm now a member of the Rocky Top Brigade.

This is only fitting since I'm probably the closest geographically to the factual Rocky Top...which is right up the road from me.

The Rocky Top Brigade is "enjoined in the battle for truth, justice, and a good single malt Scotch whiskey for around $20." Plus a whole lotta other stuff with which I totally agree.

It's nice to have company 'cause I've come under attack for eating possum. Turns out, possums have a rabid fan base. (pun totally intended) People always make the mistake of thinking that just because I'm a southerner, that I'm some sort of sloe-eyed, slack-jawed refugee from a Flannery O'Connor short story. Don't make that mistake. I'll hurt you with my terminal degree.

Here are the rules:

If you have the letters "URB" anywhere in the description of where you live and grew can keep your opinions to yourself about my wildlife conservation and pest management practices. I have a right to protect my animals from harm and if wildlife encroaches onto my farm in a destructive manner, I will kill it. After I kill it...I might eat it.

If you don't like the way farmers and ag workers in general manage the land...despite the fact you haven't seen the business end of a cow in who knows how long; are completely divorced from the realities of your food chain; and aren't sure what kind of vegetable a pickle comes from....then stop eating. Get off your rear end and take an agritainment vacation and find out about where your food comes from and the agonizing, back-breaking work that is involved in making it.

Have some respect for farmers...some are highly educated with ag degrees and some have 8th grade educations. What they all do is nothing short of miraculous and country people have their priorities much more in order than most of the rest of us. I may not like the majority of their politics but that's another matter.

I'll probably think of more rules later...particularly if the invasion of the possum people continues.

For the record, I don't need no stinkin' possum lessons.


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