Smokey Mountain Breakdown

Getting sick of the jigsaw puzzles yet? Cause I love them! I can make my entire life into a jigsaw puzzle. Or perhaps that's what happened a long time ago and I've lost a few pieces. I've sat out, half finished, on a card table in the spare room for way too long.

I'm getting close to the part where I'm going to actually have to write the end of P & D. That's why I started serializing it here--so I'd have to finish it. People love this story but I still think it's unpublishable. I've got much better stories out floating around that can't find homes.

Still pondering the change over to Wordpress. Losing my ranking is going to be a bitch. I probably should have disassociated myself from the huge loser that is Blogger a long time ago. On top of the spam thing--there's this thing with IE--which I don't use but know people who still, for some reason, use it. I guess if you are on DSL it doesn't matter how ponderous a browser is. And who can give up Sitemeter? TTLB uses it.

Anyhow--P & D.....



Lucius flattened himself into the door opening and tried to squeeze through it. He kept trying to push Lola away from him while looking dead into the barrel of Bubba’s gun.

“Su—s—s--s’not what it lo—lo—lo—uh--looks like.”

Bubba cocked the gun and walked towards him. He tilted his head to the side and aimed the gun gansta-style.

Lucius swallowed hard.

“Drop the bag,” Bubba gestured to the floor with the gun. “Slowly.”

Lucius shrugged the strap of the bag from his neck, but it was now hanging from the connection point of Lola and his shirt.

“Oh, fuck.” Lucius looked down to where the bag dangled between his and Lola’s unnaturally tapered legs.

Someone grabbed his shoulders and yanked him backwards, dragging him, Lola and the bag through the door. Lola gave a rubbery squeak of protest.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Bubba yelled from inside the store. The sound of an unloaded gun clicking through its cylinders sounded on the other side of the door. “Shit, shit, shit!”

“Get your ass together, Lucius.” Kellie said, hooking the strap of the bag back around his shoulder. Kellie jammed a piece of two by four she found on the street through the double handles of the door. She pushed Lucius in front of her and they ran to the red Fiesta.

Bubba raged inside the store. He rattled the jammed door then ran to the cash register. He scrambled around for his ammunition under the counter, bellowing like a mad bull.

Kellie dove into the driver’s seat of the Fiesta while Lucius tried to pack himself into the passenger side. Lola refused to cooperate and the bag of porn pressed against his scrotum. He closed the door, trapping one of Lola’s legs in the door. She squeaked in protest as she connected with the dashboard.

Kellie started the Fiesta with a clattering shudder. It spewed white smoke out of the tailpipe. She floored the accelerator and pulled out from behind the Krispy-Kreme delivery van. The Fiesta sputtered in protest, stalled out and blocked the driveway of Mistress Mona’s Lingerie and Adult Emporium.