Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Well, I'm back in goat vomit land.

I came home from today's excursion to find Didi, one of the new Nubian does, upchucking in the pasture and fairly unsteady on her feet. Didi and Sonya were really undernourished when Betsy picked them up. They got much better at Betsy's but they still have a ways to go before they are as strong as the rest of my ruffians.

Every goat who comes on the property goes through this. There is something on my property that is very sick-making for goats. They eat it once, get dreadfully ill, then never eat it again. At least, that has been the pattern thus far. Each time, I lead the miserable goat up to the house, get them as warm as possible, give maalox and anti-toxin and wait the damn thing out. Usually when they turn the corner they start drinking lots of water. Sometimes they throw that up, but it's a sign that they are on the mend. So far, Violette had the worst case so far. But Didi is one very sick goat.

I'm worried for her. She's just not as strong as the rest. And she's really uncomfortable. Goats have a very low tolerance for pain and discomfort.

Speaking of goat vomit....

I was watching a piece on ABC News tonight, which I still watch despite the loss of my beloved Peter Jennings, and saw the segment on "Purity Balls".

Being the screaming liberal that I am, my dander immediately started to rise. Not for the reason you think, though. Yes, I agree that it probably leads to STDs and teen pregnancy for those girls who don't get the benefit of sex education along with their "purity" vow. And yes, I'm a bit miffed that so much government funding is going into a program with an 86 percent failure rate. But I think it's sweet, the whole father/daughter dance thing. It's just about as sweet as it can be.

No, what I'm pissed about is that the entire thing is completely draconian because none of these abstinence warriors are bright enough to figure that they are missing half...perhaps more than half...of the idiot equation.

Where the hell is all the government funding for the "Chivalry Ball", I ask you?

Ideally, this would be a year long ordeal consisting of ball room dance, etiquette classes, poetry and a firm grounding in the elements of honor, respect and morality in dealing with the "fairer sex". Young men would be put through a Miss Manners boot camp to emerge as young gentlemen who fully understood that they open doors, walk on the left side of their date, use the silverware furthest from their plate first and absolutely, unequivocally know that "no" means "no". At the end of this year, they attend a formal dance escorting their sainted mothers and swear to them that they will never treat any woman with anything but the utmost respect.

I'm hoping that the ball room dance classes will eliminate any need for the use of electrodes anywhere in this indoctrination. I'm not absolutely sure of this, but that's my thinking.

I'm just saying, if you insist on doing this abstinence thing despite the fact that it simply doesn't work...at least get it right.

That's the only way purity is ever going to have any balls.


  1. Hayden said...
    I hope Didi is feeling better by now.....

    I hadn't heard the gov was funding this. Makes perfect sense. Shut down a third of the libraries in the country from funding cuts, and put the money into religious bulls*t.

    sorry. this really p*sses me off.
    BBC said...
    Hum, I thought I left a comment here.
    johnieb said...

    some of those jugheads I went to school with over in Arkansas, you'da had to have embedded those electrodes and given the girls the controls.

    And it is kinda hind teat when compared to Halliburton, but some funding to a few "non-profits" so's you can claim to be helpin the poor in some out of the way places like So. Dakota (never mind what that name comes from, child; watch your videos), well, the religious wingnuts like Robertson and Falwell gotta get somethin from the take. t'wouldn't be right, after all. Curs'd be one who sets it right.

    the cynic in the other Hartford
    Rosie said...
    Try again, BBC...it didn't come through. I had to turn on my word verification again because the spambots found me.
    Housewife said...
    Well said

    "Boys will be boys"

    And when I have my head in the sand my ass sticks up in the air.

    As for the goat vomit... I'm trying to not puke reading it.
    Anonymous said...
    It's easy to make a pledge and hard to keep it. Witness marriage and you'll know what I mean.

    As a goat judge I commend you for your devotion to your herd.

    Anne at work
    Anonymous said...
    They do have something for the boys, and they call them integrity balls, I believe, though I don't know alot about them.

    But I find it alarming that our government is funding these purity balls. Many of the churches promoting this stuff are Reconstructionist denominations. Reconstructionists follow the teachings of John Rousas Rushdoony and Gary North, and their goal is to eventually take over America and install their brand of faith as the state religion.

    Here are a couple of websites that will show you what these folks really believe:


    And, here is a link for VisionForum, a HUGE promoter of the Purity Ball concept and one of America's leading homeschooling curriculum companies. VisionForum is run by Doug Phillips, son of ex-Reagan cabinet member Howard Phillips and pastor of Boerne Christian Assembly, a hyper-patriarchal Reconstructionist congregation where women are relegated to virtual slavery in their own homes, denied higher education, are not permitted to participate in prayer in the church services, make prayer requests in church, or even receive communion unless it is served to them by their husband or another male member of the congregation.


    The Phillipses are quite the father and son team, too -- Howard Phillips is the founder of the Constitution Party, whose 2004 presidential nominee was League of the South member Michael Peroutka. While the Constitution Party courted the votes of the League of the South and other Southern hate groups in 2004, Howard's son, Pastor Doug, was hard at work garnering the Christian vote, encouraging his congregation to vote for Peroutka and warning them that they were not spiritually "at liberty" to vote for the Bush or Kerry because of their unBiblical stances on key issues.

    And our government is funding father-daughter dinner dances for these nut-groups. Sweet.
    Jbeeky said...
    First off, I completely channeled Garth and Wayne when I read "purity balls". Snicker....

    Second, I always got Friendly's ice cream shakes, new crayons and ginger ale when I threw up. Get going, those crayons aren't gonna buy themselves!
    Karen said...
    It's depressing. It's so depressing that I can't even begin to comment on it. I know people--homeschoolers, right wing, etc.--who thought it was great when an 18 yr old they knew married a 31 yr old man that she'd never been alone with, nor kissed until the wedding ceremony--"isn't that wonderful? so sweet...just what marriage should be--nothing can defile the purity of the marriage bed"(what does THAT mean?)--and I just wanted to gag--

    On another, more goaty note, my little goat had triplets yesterday--the last one born only lived a couple of hours, something was not right with her--but the other two are so sweet and healthy--So this birthing went much better than the one in January. I posted pictures of the momma and babies on my blog at artinthegarage.blogspot.com--
    Rosie said...
    jbeeky...you are too funny. I was thinking more along the lines of Jay and Silent Bob...he,he...they said "balls".

    JohnieB! You should totally post on dontwantadamnedblog!

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