Saturday, August 18, 2007

Really...It's a Dog Muzzle

I had to go back into town yesterday to pick up a few tubs of goat lixx and some mop heads. Goat lixx are basically goat lollipops in a big tub. They are full of vitamins and minerals and all sorts of healthy goatie things suspended in a solid hard mass of molasses. The goats are crazy for them and now that I have them back in the pasture, everyone will have sticky brown noses and faces. The little ones aren't sure quite yet what to make of them, but the big goats will show them the ropes. Unfortunately, when I picked them up, they were labeled "Do Not Feed to Sheep!"

So I had to build a creep feeder so the woolie buggers can't get to the buckets. That's okay though. Those two sheep are obese at this point. They need a Thigh Master.

Anyway, I picked up Friend Scott and dragged him to town with me. We went to the Chinese buffet. We are actually getting a little sick of the Chinese buffet. We were talking about trying to find somewhere else to eat, but we just keep ending back up there. It's reasonable, the wait staff is cute, they have a decent pot of tea, good frog legs and honestly....it takes a bit of doing to fill up my six foot nine buddy.

The restaurant was packed as it always is on Friday. They serve crab legs on Friday and everyone had piled plates full of crab legs. I hit the frog legs as per usual.

I don't know why I like frog legs so much. They are the one thing that actually does taste exactly like chicken. I just have fond memories of watching my Aunt Baby Dear fry them up in a skillet. And memories of gigging for them with my brother on my grandfather's Tennessee farm. I now have my own frog pond.

We paid the bill and were making our way into the parking lot of the large strip mall where the restaurant is located when I heard a voice calling out behind us.

"Miss! Miss!"

I turned and it was the pretty Asian waitress that I always want to over-tip.

Dangling from her hand was my dog muzzle. The dog muzzle is black mesh with nylon straps. It had evidently escaped from my purse where it had been since Baby's last vet visit. If you don't know what it is...well, you might get the wrong idea.

I blush as she hands it over to me when I realize this.

"It's a dog muzzle!" I say to her retreating back, my voice fading toward the end. For some reason, I don't want this pretty Asian woman to think this is something I might possibly be using on my dining partner.

Scott looks at the offending bit of shiny nylon mesh and buckles.

"What the hell is that!" He guffaws at me.

"Shut up!" I hiss. "It's a dog muzzle. It's used for dogs."

"Yeah....right."

He laughs all the way to the jeep.

7 Comments:

  1. samuel said...
    Someone should cook you and friend Scott dinner next time you go to town.
    Betsy aka 'the goat yoda' said...
    I still have that escaping roll of 35mm film in my truck glove box....
    Peggy said...
    Thanks for making me laugh! I laughed so loud I scared the cat. Now to get the thoughts of what to do with a dog muzzle outta my brain. LOL
    threecollie said...
    That is way high on the list of the funniest things I have ever heard! lol
    Cubby said...
    Hahahahahaha! That is greatness!
    Sue Doe said...
    Okay, break it down for me, and remember I'm from Los Angeles.

    What else could it have been?

    Have I been missing something?
    Audubon Ron said...
    Goat Lixx, dog muzzle, yeah okay, AS IF!!

    I like the goat lixx thingie. Oddly, couldn’t find goat lixx on the Internet. I was curious so I had to look. Doesn’t matter, got me a think’in (an activity I’m not equipped for). I think I’ll make a Ron Lixx. Haven’t got all the procedures down yet but still working on it. I got a set of slightly used hobbles. ;)

    Go ahead Mama, if your thing, go with it!

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