Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Friend Scott has been much on my mind of late.

He had his land line turned off and it's made it very difficult for us to chat as we usually do. He did get his cell phone turned back on, but cell phones don't work up here. So it makes it difficult to stay in touch.

He came by for a nice visit today. We sat on the front porch in the warm weather and talked. I had spent the day curled up on the couch with my SLE raging watching Wuxia movies. One of my correspondents recommended the Swordsman trilogy. For some reason, I only had 2 and 3 but they were very, very good. Swordsman III was really great.

I felt guilty about not working more on the fencing. But I have about two more days before the goats realize that there are still only three wires strung on most of the fences. But I did get their current favorite escape route solidly fenced with five wires. I also took down two gates and rerouted the fencing so to make the electric charge extra extra painful. This morning I awoke to the blessed silence of goats NOT breaking into the feed storage on the back porch. Previously, every morning sounded like the Rockettes had set up a kick line with taps on my back porch. They get angry when they find an empty metal bin and start bouncing it around the porch. Damn goats.

Scott finally got in touch with me on Monday.

Someone vandalized his house. They wrote "Faggit" in black paint on the side of it. We laughed about the misspelling. People can be so damn hateful here. I worry about Scott. Anti-depressants have been a good thing for him while he's been going through all of this, but I worry that they make him less vigilant than he should be.

"God love 'em." He says. "I wish I had the sort of self-confidence to think everyone wanted to get into my pants."

And it is pretty funny. They do seem to think all gay men are just dying to jump their grizzled, tobacco-juice spittin', cammo wearing, dentally challenged bones. Just because they have a dangly bit.

BossyToe came up and laid on the porch steps like the dog she seems to think she is. I let Scott give her her "baba" for a while.

"Only 15 seconds," I said. "She can slug half of that down in thirty and she's already had too much today."

BossyToe gets really upset when the "baba" is taken away. Sometimes she grips the nipple and will rip it off the bottle if you aren't careful. Then she wails. A friend heard her crying through the phone line and was very surprised how much like a human baby her cries were.

Last Easter, I wasn't able to attend my church because I'd had some small stroke activity from the blood thing. I wasn't supposed to drive. So I went to Easter service with Scott at one of his small churches. The music was truly sublime. But as I looked around, it seemed that there was a very visible attempt to keep score of things. Things like how many people brought their bibles and how much money was collected. It made me uncomfortable. I guess I'm just too Anglican.

The preacher welcomed all of the visitors and invited us to come back.

"But I don't want to be stealing you away from your own church." He said. "Why, that would be just like robbing a bank!"

I swear he said that. He really did.

Scott is a very spiritual person. He really loves the old time Baptist faith he was brought up in. That has been a very big conflict in his coming out process. He found a local minister who has a gay brother who has been counseling him. I wanted Scott to go into the MCC or the Episcopal church...just somewhere that had a more accepting viewpoint. Some sort of understanding that being a gay Christian was not some sort of oxymoron. Someone who could focus more on his faith and how to live as a gay Christian rather than to try to "heal" him.

Scott tells me he attended this church a few weeks ago. The parishioners refused to allow the service to start until Scott left. His pastor/counselor had to ask him to leave.

Scott will ask his doctor to up his meds tomorrow.

Somebody with a capitol "G" is keeping track of all this shit.

I'm angry and worried for my friend.


  1. Jbeeky said...
    That is horrific. I am sorry for your friend, I truly am.
    erin ambrose said...
    oh ...thats really fucked up. esp. the vandalizing of his home. leaves no sense of sanctuary.... maybe trade in the meds for couple of big german sheps and a shotgun.
    its crap.
    chris said...
    Like you, Rosie, Simone was baptized Episcopalian, right? Also, how healthy is she these days?
    Paul said...
    I'm thinking of possibly doing a post on this topic maybe within the next few weeks. I've never heard a sound argument for denying gays full and equal rights, secular and religious, let alone for hating them.
    Erica said...
    Rosie, I cannot begin to tell you how reading "The parishioners refused to allow the service to start until Scott left. His pastor/counselor had ask him to leave," made me absolutely despair.

    I don't mean to be all naive, and childlike, but...I just don't get this crazy world. I'm most sorry he had to go through that, as he sounds like a good guy, and no doubt that hadda hurt.

    As for the spelling of "faggit," I liken it to the douchebags who don't know how to draw a swastika. Saw that shit the other day in my friend's elevator. Some dumb punk, just spreading baseless, and illiterate hatred.

    (Oh, and is this normal: I'm a relatively observant Jew, and yet I am SO DOWN with the Baptist, the music and all...I loves me some Christian revivalism and church floor stompin' gospel.)

    My heart goes out to you and Scott.
    googiebaba said...
    It breaks my heart to hear about him being kicked out of a church. Sometimes I just wish all of the gay men and women in the South would come to their senses and move up North. Its not so bad here. You can bring the goats, we would make room.
    Housewife said...
    I believe in guns.

    Faggit... pfft... too stupid to spell too...

    Let me at 'em...
    Rosie said...
    Yes, its really screwed up.

    Yes, Chris, we are Episcopalians going back many many generations. Simone's health is quite good.

    Paul, I'd love to see one of your thoughtful posts on this subject. But, as I mentioned...where I am does need its context. The shunning of Scott is happening in a place that practices pentecostal church snakehandling and is as set apart from mainstream Christian practices as the Amish are set apart from the "English".

    Aww, thanks,'s not like this everywhere. Scottie is just doing this in a very difficult place.
    Rosie said...
    Thanks, Erica Yes, there is so much I love about the people here and their faith. I write about it often. But there is a very tangible dark side. I write about that too.

    Yes, Housewife, I advised Scott to get a carry permit. He said everyone had one up here, but honestly, two-by-four logic is the only thing some people understand.
    Housewife said...
    I blogged you a link.
    Anne Johnson said...
    Big reason I left Christianity is how some Christians treat faggits. Like, there was a popular woman pastor in the Methodist church, and when she came out in a sermon, she got defrocked, even though her whole parish knew she was gay.

    I don't know how remote you are up there in the hills, but tell Scott that some other faiths -- like Druids and Wiccas -- will not only thank him for coming and hug him, they'll also not ask for a dime in contribution.

    I'm a Druid so I know. There's no church building to maintain if you worship outside in a state park. Gets cold sometimes, but that's the whole point of Druidry - marking the seasons in the ancient manner.
    bonnie said...
    Sometimes you make me think I could be as happy living in the country as in Brooklyn.

    Today you reminded me of one of the things that I really do love about New York City - sure, there's bigotry & intolerance, we've got so much more evolving to do as a species before THAT crap goes away, but on the whole, with so many different kinds of people living side by side, the business of labelling & pigeonholing people who aren't just like you just doesn't work so well - hard to make "all____are ____" hold water when you're likely to end up working with a "____" who isn't the least bit "____".

    Not quite on topic but somehow this reminded me of something I overheard in my office the other day -

    "I had a Jewish mother, a Muslim father, and there was always bacon in the house. I was not a good example!"

    At the moment I heard that, I just thought "God, I love New York..."

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