Tuesday, April 08, 2008

I miss so much staying here so much on the farm. On the way to the hospital with Betsy, I saw an elderly couple in a car. She didn't have her teeth in. It was quite a nice car.

They were feeding each other ice cream. It was the most adorable thing I've seen in--like--forever.

When I see something like that, my heart soars and I feel so warm inside. Even though I know I'll most likely not ever experience that, I just can't feel a lick of envy. I just think--that's adorable. What must it be like to be that much in love and that comfortable with one another that you can take your teeth out and feed each other ice cream in the front seat of your car?

On the way to Knoxville there is a huge billboard. It is red and in the middle of it it says in big letters something to the effect, "Hell Exists." And then, just underneath it, in tiny little fine print that my one eye could hardly make out, "And Heaven Does Too." I mention to Betsy how I can just ponder the dreadful irony of the placement and size of those letters for hours.

Betsy had triplets born--damn, was it Friday? Anyway, one was a perfect buck, one was a transgendered kid--neither one sex or the other and the third doe kid was born without a tail and with only one eye. I can't wait to meet the one-eyed tailless baby. She's my little omen.

Me? Well, Intrepids--I had a stroke in my eye. The sight will most likely not return. The lack of blood to the eye killed off all the little thingies that make me able to see properly. My optic nerve is really swollen. It's a bit scary since I was on maximum blood thinners when it happened.

So--I'm now one-eyed and was born with a tail. I think me and that little goat are gonna have lots to talk over. Both of us need "do-overs".


  1. Erica said...
    Sorry Rosie. So, so sorry.
    Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...
    Damn, such bad news about your eye.
    I had a favourite aunt a real "Grand Dame" from Long Island. She lost her eye in a way similar to you. She managed fine. She always reminded us to sit the side she could see us best.

    I would still enjoy feeding you some of my ice cream cone!
    Leeuna said...
    Rosie, I'm sorry to hear the news about your eye. However, it seems that this has only made you even more observant of things around you...like the sign and the people in the car. (a lot of folks with 20/20 vision are blind when it comes to the small moments in life that inspire.)
    I have a good feeling that you're going to be an even better writer than before (if that is possible). Take care and hang in there. There are a lot of your fans out here cheering you on.

    Jbeeky said...
    Oh, I am so sorry. I can not believe it. I just can't. I am in awe of how you wrote about this. Love to you.
    truffula said...
    Oh Roise. I don't really have anything useful to write but, what a rare fine light you are in the world. I discovered the Breakdown thanks to your guest blogging week at Feministe. You've got a special voice and a special insight into the world. Thanks for taking the time to share them.
    threecollie said...
    I am so very sorry.
    MK Stover said...
    Still sending good energy your way.

    Some of that ice cream from Canada might do you some good. When's that gonna happen?
    Maridmitch said...
    Rosie, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I was hoping there was treatment available for you.
    Jo said...
    Rosie, I am so sorry to hear of this latest stumbling block with your vision. With the diabetes and PMR I have often wondered what would I do if I were to lose my vision. I so enjoy taking in all of the beauty that I see around me. I always come up with the same answer.... I will just find a way to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep going because that is what I do. Just from what I have read here on your blog I think I can safely bet on the fact that you won't let that hender you for any length of time. Besides....I think there is a fella that throws pebbles in the stream, that is wanting to share his ice cream with you.
    Sue Doe-Nim said...
    Oh man.

    My son has eye problems (both eyes really) and every day of his life we exercise his eyes.

    Mission #1 in my parenting with him has been to be sure that he can see out of two eyes. We're at 80% with him.

    So reading you with vision in one leaves me feeling a little impotent. A little sad for you.

    But it also leaves me hopeful because my son learned to walk and talk to run and throw and play with vision in one eye. He learned to read with 60% in one eye and 100% in the other and I guess I feel hopeful that if my little guy can have a typical early childhood with one eye then you can have an adulthood of great quality with one too.

    And darlin' I'd eat ice cream with you on a bad hair day with an old dress and no shoes on. I'm so sorry that I can't take my teeth out.
    Granny Sue said...
    What struck me, Rosie, is that you left the mention of your eye to the end of the post. The things you saw with your one eye were put into a different perspective when I read about your loss of vision.

    Wishing I could be there to give you a good hug. You will continue to give us all a unique view of youe mountain world, and for that I thank you.

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